The musings of an old woman,a wife, a mother of two sons, a lover of dogs and all God's creatures, a reader of books, a child of the King.
A pilgrim with many rivers yet to cross, on a journey home to Him.
Soul, in times of hurt and disappointment, times when people let you down, remember that Jesus was misunderstood, misrepresented, mistreated, deserted, denied, spit upon, stripped, beaten and crucified----for you. Remember that hurts can intensify, especially near the end of life. Just at the time you long to have dear ones close, you may feel alone, deserted. But Jesus will stand near you. Remember that things are not always as they seem. Give people and situations the benefit of the doubt. Deserters too, are fighting internal battles, just like you are. Resist resentment, and be kind. Guard your heart. When life closes in, what will you believe about God...?
My Father, my Example, my Advocate, loose my soul to see You and delight in You even in life’s bitterest times. Remind me “The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged”. ....Stir me to faith. Turn my eyes outward to You in worship and to others in kindness. Guard me from soul-fouling sourness. Instead, may I know You in sweet connection, in ways impossible apart from sharing in Your suffering and comfort.
The above was taken from a book I am reading, one that has been a great blessing. Pursue the Intentional Life, by Jean Fleming. Today’s reading was about suffering, and the choice to either grow sweet....or grow bitter in the suffering.
“We were not created to suffer, we are called to suffer.”
“A brooding, runaway mind hollows out a man.” Oh how we tend to brood upon things, to feel sorry for ourselves in the trials we must endure, to look to our neighbors and envy their happiness, to wish we had someone else’s lot in life, to think “why me”? Resentments build up, we begin to feel wronged, mistreated, and before we know it we are brooding on how unfair things are.....and our hearts and minds become hollow and ugly.
If you trust in Christ and are one of His, there truly is nothing in life to fear. If you are in the midst of trouble, if you are oppressed on all sides and it seems the enemy of your soul is laughing and mocking, “Where is your God?” take heart and remember. Nothing can touch you; nothing can touch your life that He does not allow. The enemy of your soul, who laughs and speaks out “I won that round”, won nothing at all, for God will use all things for His glory and for our good, even defeat. Every trial, every sorrow, every wound, turned around and used for His glory. Truly we are victorious at all times in Christ. We need to cling to that knowledge, and we need to preach it to each other and to ourselves.
Soul, hold fast to truth, dwell upon it, meditate on it, lift up praise, even in the hard times, remember His promises, and rest in them. Forgive others, forgive yourself, persevere in the faith and remember always that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Today a friend drives to the vet, her dear friend Chief going for his final ride. He has been doing poorly, can hardly walk anymore and it is time to ease his suffering. My friend hurts. I know exactly how she feels. Chief is not "just a dog", he is a beloved family member, a friend and companion.
I have seen many photos of him, froliking in the snow with his buddy Sienna. He is such a beautiful boy.
Go with God Chief, you were a good boy, you did what you were created to do, you loved your humans, loved your friends, loved the snow and the cold and a good frolic, you loved........and you did it well. Run now, with the Great Shepherd.
JUST A DOG
From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a dog," or "that's a lot of money for just a dog."
They don't understand the distance travelled, the time spent, or the costs involved for "just a dog."
Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog."
Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog," but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought aobut by "just a dog," and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you probably understand phrases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise."
"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy. "Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person. Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.
So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog" but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.
"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that its' not "just a dog" but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being "just a man" or "just a woman."
So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog," just smile, because they "just don't understand."
~Unknown Author~
Chief "Wenbrooke's Red Oktober" , you were many things, but never "just a dog".
For several days now I have been working my way through praying the Psalm's in my devotional time. Today I read Psalm 7, a very strong emotional Psalm, written by David during a dark night of the soul. While meditating upon this Psalm and upon circumstances in my life, I felt led to pen my own Psalm. My family has been through a long dark night of the soul, and are still walking through the valley of it. We have endured combat deployments, wounded family members, suicide of loved ones, deep dark grief, PTSD, depression, anxiety and the hopeless feeling that often comes with such things. David pulled no punches in his writing, his emotions scream out from the Psalms. David is real with God, he does not decieve himself, but pours out his true heart. Meditating upon these things, I attempt also to pull no punches, to put down on paper the raw emotion that is so often felt and experienced in our journey.......my journey.
I come to You for protection O Lord my God!
My soul is torn by my enemies, my loved ones wounded, some near death!
This grief, this PTSD, this depression and anxiety threaten to consume us!
Lord, I stand, I fight, I seek You in prayer and in Your word, yet alone I fight!
Lord like your servant Moses, my hands grow weak, I can barely lift my sword!
I lay here,upon the ground, in the mud and mire of despair, my wounds bleeding sorrow
and my enemies taunt me. Saying "Where is your God?", "We rend the souls of those
you love while Your God is sleeping!"
O Lord, rise up! Stomp them into the ground! Crush the heads of these dark
serpents that feast upon our souls!
And yet, with broken voice I shout out, upon the ground, mud spattered despair
covers my armor. sorrow flows from my wounds, and yet I say to my enemies who
surround me..."I will yet see deliverance!", I will yet see you laying in the mire, helpless
and ashamed, my Lord's foot upon your head!".
Stand up O soul! Stand up! Hold up the sword of truth which your heart knows.
Let His righteousness wash the mire of despair from your armor.
Wounded you may feel, sorrow dripping to the ground..........but your enemy, the
enemies of your soul may only advance as far as your Lord allows!
He will not allow Your soul to perish, nor the souls of those you love!
O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath. Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled. My soul also is greatly troubled. But you, O Lord—how long?
Turn, O Lord, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love. For in death there is no remembrance of you; in Sheol who will give you praise?
I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.
Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer. All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.
What is David feeling as he pens this song? He desires that the Lord not discipline him in anger... He asks for grace.... He is languishing (suffer from being forced to remain in an unpleasant place or situation.)... He seeks healing..... His bones are troubled...(emotions are causing physical problems).... His soul is troubled... He pleads for God to save him..... He is weary... He has shed so many tears he feels his bed is flooded with them. He is wasting away from grief.... He grows weak from the attack against him...
When I first prayed this Psalm, I faltered at the part about foes. I thought to myself, I really do not have enemies, no one seeks my harm, no one is trying to destroy me....and as I pondered this I realized..NOT SO! I am surrounded by foes, and they urgently and vehemently seek my utter destruction.
The enemy of my soul and yours seeks our death, seeks to steal all joy, all hope, to suck the very life from your soul and leave you a broken heap upon the floor. He rejoices in your sorrow. He rejoices in your pain. He is the one who tells you all is lost, there is no hope, curse God and die. This enemy has many weapons that he uses in his purpose. Right now, for those I love, his weapons are PTSD, alcohol, grief, anger, despair, frustration and hopelessness. He attacks all members of my family with one or more of these weapons.
"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. " "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. " "This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. " " In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the
unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. "
And then we have the world, which is also our enemy. It has not the passion that the true enemy of our souls has, it just simply entices us with its many offerings. Do you feel pain? Come and drink away your cares, forget them for the moment, drink...drink...drink...this is how to have fun, how to forget your burdens. Come buy this thing, come buy that one. Having this will at last make you happy. Seek after money, if you have enough you will have power. Power will make you happy. All lies, all glitters as gold but when you grasp it and unwrap it, the gift inside is shriveled and dead.
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of
your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what
is good and acceptable and perfect."
And last we have self. That sinful creature that in its own power cannot please God, even should it wish to, and apart from God cannot even summon the desire to please God. That part of us that is weak, that entices us to give up, to surrender to the lies of the enemy of our soul, to surrender to the lies of the world, to just reach out and grasp anything shiny thing we can in order to have a moments happiness.
"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me."
My friend, regardless of whether you are aware of it or not, you and I are beset by enemies. Like David, we grow weak from their onslaught against us.
At the end of this Psalm, David states DEPART from me, all you workers of evil! Depart O enemy of our souls! Depart O enticements of this world, Depart O sinful flesh that seeks to entangle us....FOR THE LORD HAS HEARD THE SOUND OF MY WEEPING!
O soul! Hold fast to faith, hold fast to God, keep your courage and do not despair. You will yet see your enemies ashamed and greatly troubled. You will yet see them turned back.
"You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me
again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. You
will increase my greatness and comfort me again."
"Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning."
"You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word."
Via, Veritas, Vita.......way....truth....life..... JESUS
All He Says I Am
He whispers in my ear
Tells me that I'm fearless
He shares a melody
Tells me to repeat it
And it makes me whole
It reminds my soul
I am all He says I am
I am all He says I am
I am all He says I am
And He says I am His own
I was blinded by scales upon my eyes
Then He came like a light
And burned up all the lies
He set me free
He reminded me
I am all He says I am
I am all He says I am
I am all He says I am
An He says I am His own
Chains are broken
Scales are on the floor
Truth is spoken
I'm no orphan anymore
I am loved
I am new again
I am free
I'm no slave to sin
I'm saint
I am righteousness
I'm alive
The book that sits by my bed right now is called "Pursue the Intentional Life" by Jean Fleming. The chapter I read today was called Romanticizing the Life of Faith.
Jean speaks of watching a hawk soar in the sky above the mountains, and how it is the desire of her soul to soar always with Christ, to live her life well and for his glory.
Then she asks a few questions.......
Was Jesus soaring when he wept great tears of blood in Gethsemane?
Did He soar when he pleaded with the Father for some other path?
Was Paul soaring when he spoke in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 of despairing of life itself?
Did David soar when he pretended to be crazy and drooled in his beard, out of fear for his life? (1st Samuel 21: 12-13)
She goes on to write of how we can often romanticize our Christian walk, as if to be a Christian means one should always soar above grief, discouragement, fear and pain and how when we do this we are perverting God's intention.
She speaks of King David and his writings in the Psalms,
" my heart is in anguish within me;"
"the terrors of death have fallen on me."
"fear and trembling have beset me."
"horror has overwhelmed me."
"I said, Oh that I had the wings of a dove."
"I would fly away and be at rest."
"I would flee far away."
"and stay in the desert."
"I would hurry to my place of shelter far from the tempest and storm."
And how he ends with these words......." But as for me, I trust in You."
"His love will not let me go. I find refuge in Him, and I soar. I soar in the growing knowledge and experience of God Himself...........The Lord meets me in my squall. Life's storms and stresses draw me closer to Him."
Then she speaks of the Albatross, a majestic bird in flight, able to spend months and months at sea, this bird can reach an eleven foot wingspan and it glides above storm tossed waters. It NEEDS storm winds to keep aloft. In calm seas they are virtually unable to get airborne........and more amazing is their behavior on land, there they are called Goonie Birds, because they flop about in a most ungraceful manner.
"Ironically, to soar I must taste my weakness and need. In the turbulence of life, I reach out to God."
Our God knows us, He knows our weaknesses, He knows that we will not always soar on wings of eagles.
She goes on to remind us that:
He gives strength to the weary.
He increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary.
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles.
they will run and not grow weary.
they will walk and not be faint.
We will all have moments when we soar above it all, moments when we run this race with speed and vigor, moments when we walk, moments when we stumble, and moments when we fall.
"even when I'm barely hanging on, trust that when there is almost nothing of me left, He will show up most powerfully."
She ends this chapter with this powerful prayer
" Father God, please keep me from distorted ideas of what it means to walk with You. In my deep desire to live on the heights, keep me from romanticizing what that looks like. At this point, I think soaring is trusting that You can glorify Yourself through me no matter what. The only limiting factor is me, and glory of glories, You can use me in spite of myself, just as You have used other frail, flailing failures such as Jonah, Gideon, Peter and every other human You used through the ages. Grace, grace, amazing grace.
When hard times come-----confusing times, faltering times-----encircle me with Your protective, sustaining care. Remember my intended wing and catch me up again on the strong currents of mercy and grace-----Your faithfulness, not mine, Your life in me. You know my weak humanity, and its not a problem to You. You prefer me weak and trusting so Your grace might be unfettered. Praise upon praise to Your Holy Name."
We all struggle at times and as Christians we need to be real about life's struggles.
