"In His grace there is life; weeping may be for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5"

  In all things there is always a choice. We lie to ourselves when we think otherwise. In my devotional reading this morning there is a quote that spoke to my heart. "I had to choose fear.......or completely trust Him. One cannot exist if the other is true." And in yesterdays reading there was another; "That which I refuse to thank Christ for, I refuse to believe Christ can redeem."

 Two very profound statements that hits me right where I am. Living between sorrow and fear, bouncing back from trust to sorrow, from sorrow to fear, back to trust........but is it really trust? For one cannot exist if the other is true.

 I have been a Christian for 24 years now, have read the Bible countless times, I know these things, they are written in my memory.....but are they engraved upon my heart? That is the question that God has been asking me, for weeks now. I am learning Lord, help me to hold on to what I learn.

 I am at peace, more so than I have been in some time. There is no need to fear tomorrow.

  When I fall into fear and worry, I am actually stating that I do not trust my Lord. When I agonize over what might happen, and how things do not seem to be going the way I think they should, or the way I would choose for them to go, I am stating that I do not trust that God knows what He is doing, that I do not believe that He is capable of redeeming things should they take the turn I fear.

 When I moan about the unfairness of things, I am stating that I am not where I should be, that the place God has put me is somehow wrong, that He has somehow lost control of things, that perhaps He was sleeping and did not intend for it to be this way. God has not been caught unaware of anything, and all that happens is allowed. I can not explain the why of it, I can only explain that God is good, He does not do wrong, so therefore there must be a purpose for it all.

 I can rejoice even in sorrow. For I know God will bring about good from all these things, He has promised me this, and one day, all that is wrong with the world will be made right, one day we will be reunited with loved ones gone to soon, one day His perfect love will forever cast out fear and sorrow. He has promised these things to those who belong to Him, He has promised good to me. He has promised good to His children.

He tells us to give thanks in ALL things........how often do we really truly consider what that means?

  It means we are to praise Him, in the midst of the storm, we are to praise Him, and we are to give Him thanks for everything! Thanks for the long hard road we have walked, we are walking and we may be walking for some time. Thanks for all the blessings that He gives each and every day. And we should ever ask Him to open our eyes, do not allow us to miss the gifts You give, do not allow us to fall into fear, or despair, to wallow in any kind of self pity. May we ever stand where we stand and may we wait for You Lord, without complaint, and in perfect trust. Your love is perfect, and perfect love casts out all fear.

Open our eyes Lord!

"give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, ""Abba," Father."

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

 "In Japan the cherry blossom represents the fragility and the beauty of life. It's a reminder that life is almost overwhelmingly beautiful but that it is also tragically short. When the cherry blossom trees bloom for a short time each year in brilliant force, they serve as a visual reminder of how precious and how precarious life is. So, when Japanese people come together to view the cherry blossom trees and marvel at their beauty, they aren't just thinking about the flowers themselves, but also about the larger meaning and deep cultural tradition the cherry blossom tree."

 The beautiful song, Cherry Blossoms in Rain, when played on the piano, makes use of only the black keys. The dark keys, when the right fingers are touching them, makes something beautiful. Our sorrows in this life, if we trust God, if we live a life of thanksgiving, if we take the joy He offers even in the hard things, can be like the black keys on the piano, with His fingers upon them, something beautiful, something useful, something needful can and will occur.

Take a moment and listen to the beautiful song, "Cherry Blossoms in Rain" 

 The quotes mentioned in this post were both taken from the wonderful devotional book by Ann Voskamp, called "One Thousand Gifts Devotional" it is a beautiful book and it has blessed me very much.

  Picture a dear one, someone so dear that you would willingly die for them; you would not even have to pause to consider it. Picture them struggling, hanging on to a sheer cliff, jagged rocks and darkness and raging waters below them. You claw your way to them, leaning down, desperately trying to reach them, desperately trying to pull them up to safety. You move huge boulders out of the way, you search with eagle eyes for the straightest path, and shout at the top of your lungs, go here, go there. You spend all that you have purchasing ropes, with special ties, with strong anchors, tossing them down, but none reaches them….some seem to come close, but your loved one will not reach out for them, they cling to the wall, sometimes they make a tiny bit of progress up, sometimes they slip and fall back, losing all ground they have achieved. You watch them beat against the rock; you see the blood on them, the wounds caused by the jagged edges of the sheer rock face they fight against. Others gather with you at the top of the cliff, shouting down words of encouragement, bits of advice, and pieces of rope……to no avail.

  You are willing to fling yourself right off this cliff, and die on the rocks below in order to save the struggling one….but you cannot….you are willing to take their place upon this sheer and brutal rock face, despite your desperate fear of heights…….but you cannot. You are willing to spend all that you own and be with nothing at all, to save them from this desperate perch…….but you cannot.

  A grim word picture, so far it is a desperate place to be, an uncomfortable place to be, but there is the unseen, that we must consider. The unseen, which we so often fail to consider. We in our desperation move heaven and earth in our efforts to change things, to save things, to save people we love, to make things right again, to redeem that which is lost, to give life to the dead and lifeless…….we beat our hands and our heads against the rocks in our attempts to do that which we are unable to do. It is not our place to be the change, to be the redeemer, to be the life giver, to be the restorer.  We (and I am speaking to Christians here) are to be people of faith, we are to live our lives in a manner that shows Christ and we are to depend upon Him utterly for everything. He is the Change, He is the Redeemer, He is the Life Giver, and He is the Restorer.

  As we open our eyes to these truths, we once again gaze down upon our word picture. We see the dear one hanging still upon the jagged rock face, their hands and face still bloody and sweaty from their efforts, their fingers clinched tightly to the rock, their limbs trembling from the weight of it all and from their efforts as they labor up an inch and fall back three………we see these things, but we also now see the harness wrapped about our dear one.  And as we gaze through the darkness that engulfs them, we see One standing upon the rocks, the Belayer, He holds the rope, the unseen rope, and we are now able to stand, to drop the many ropes we carry upon the ground, to cease from our efforts to clear a path, to stop shouting out words of advice unheeded……..we are able to let go, our love no less fierce than it was, but our faith renewed. It was never our task to save, it was never our task to heal, and it was never our task to restore…..it was always His.

  This dear one we watch struggle might be for some an actual person, it might be for others a life situation, a job, possession or situation that you are working with all your might to save or change. The principle is the same regardless of what your “dear one” is. Let go, unclasp your hand, loosen your grip, let it slide into the hands of the only One able to do anything of value with it. He will either deliver it safely to the top, to the place where you want it, or He will let it fall into His arms, either way, He is the Belayer, He holds the rope, the only rope……stop trying to take His place when you have not the strength nor the wisdom to see the big picture. He knows best and whatever He brings about, regardless of whether it is your will or not, will be that which is best.

 Belayer:

1) Someone who provides a belay

  Belay:

1) To secure (as a rope)

2) To make fast

3) To secure (a person) at the end of a rope

4) To secure (a rope) to a person or object

5) To be made fast

 

 

 

 

 Ever wonder what happened to the men who followed Christ? Did they live lives of monetary prosperity? Live in mansions? Church history tells us that they all met their deaths because they followed Christ, with the exception of John, who survived being thrown into boiling oil and lived out his days in exile upon the island of Patmos.

James

James, the Apostle of the Lord, was the second recorded martyr after Christ’s death (Stephen was the first). His death is recorded in Acts 12:2 where it is told that Herod Agrippa killed him with a sword. Clemens Alexandrinus and Eusebius (Ecclesiastical History II.2) both tell how the executioner witnessed the courage and un-recanting spirit of James and was then convinced of Christ resurrection and was executed along with James.

Date of Martyrdom: 44-45 A.D.

Peter

Although, just before the crucifixion, Peter denied three times that he even knew Christ, after the resurrection he did not do so again. Peter, just as Jesus told him in John 21:18-19, was crucified by Roman executioners because he could not deny his master again. According to Eusebius, he thought himself unworthy to be crucified as his Master, and, therefore, he asked to be crucified “head downward.”

Date of Martyrdom: ca. 64 A.D.

Andrew

Andrew, who introduced his brother Peter to Christ, went to join Peter with Christ in eternity six years after Peter’s death. After preaching Christ’s resurrection to the Scythians and Thracians, he too was crucified for his faith. As Hippolytus tells us, Andrew was hanged on an olive tree at Patrae, a town in Achaia.

Date of Martyrdom: 70 A.D.

Thomas

Thomas is known as “doubting Thomas” because of his reluctance to believe the other Apostles’ witness of the resurrection. After they told him that Christ was alive, he stated “Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe” (John 20:25). After this, Christ did appear to him and Thomas believed unto death. Thomas sealed his testimony as he was thrust through with pine spears, tormented with red-hot plates, and burned alive.

Date of Martyrdom: 70 A.D.

Philip

Philip was corrected by Christ when he asked Christ to “show us the Father, then this will be enough for us” (John 14:8). Christ responded, “Have I been so long with you, and yet you have not come to know Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; how can you say, ‘Show us the Father ‘?” (John 14:9). Philip later saw the glory of Christ after the resurrection and undoubtedly reflected with amazement on Christ’s response to his request. Philip evangelized in Phrygia where hostile Jews had him tortured and then crucified.

Date of Martyrdom: 54 A.D.

Matthew

Matthew, the tax collector, so desperately wanted the Jews to accept Christ. He wrote The Gospel According to Matthew about ten years before his death. Because of this, one can see, contained within his Gospel, the faith for which he spilled his blood. Matthew surely remembered his resurrected Savior’s words, “Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world” (Matt. 28:20), when he professed the resurrected Christ unto his death by beheading at Nad-Davar.

Date of Martyrdom: 60-70 A.D.

Nathanael (Bartholomew)

Nathanael, whose name means “gift of God” was truly given as a gift to the Church through his martyrdom. Nathanael was the first to profess, early in Christ’s ministry, that Christ was the Son of God (John 1:49). He later paid for this profession through a hideous death. Unwilling to recant of his proclamation of a risen Christ, he was flayed and then crucified.

Date of Martyrdom: 70 A.D.

James the Lesser

James was appointed to be the head of the Jerusalem church for many years after Christ’s death. In this, he undoubtedly came in contact with many hostile Jews (the same ones who killed Christ and stated “His [Christ's] blood be on us and our children” (Matt. 27:25). In order to make James deny Christ’s resurrection, these men positioned him at the top of the Temple for all to see and hear. James, unwilling to deny what he knew to be true, was cast down from the Temple and finally beaten to death with a fuller’s club to the head.

Date of Martyrdom: 63 A.D.

Simon the Zealot

Simon was a Jewish zealot who strived to set his people free from Roman oppression. After he saw with his own eyes that Christ had been resurrected, he became a zealot of the Gospel. Historians tell of the many different places that Simon proclaimed the good news of Christ’s resurrection: Egypt, Cyrene, Africa, Mauritania, Britain, Lybia, and Persia. His rest finally came when he verified his testimony and went to be with Christ, being crucified by a governor in Syria.

Date of Martyrdom: 74 A.D.

Judas Thaddeus

Judas questioned the Lord: “Judas said to him (not Iscariot), Lord, how is it that you will show yourself to us, and not unto the world?” (John 14:22). After he witnessed Christ’s resurrection, Judas then knew the answer to his question. Preaching the risen Christ to those in Mesopotamia in the midst of pagan priests, Judas was beaten to death with sticks, showing to the world that Christ was indeed Lord and God.

Date of Martyrdom: 72 A.D.

Matthias

Matthias replaced Judas Iscariot (the betrayer of Christ who hanged himself) as the twelfth Apostle of Christ (Acts 1:26). It is believed by most that Matthias was one of the seventy that Christ sent out during his earthly ministry (Luke 10:1). This qualifies him to be an apostle. Matthias, of which the least is known, is said by Eusebius to have preached in Ethiopia. He was later stoned while hanging upon a cross.

Date of Martyrdom: 70 A.D.

John


John is the only one of the twelve Apostles to have died a natural death. Although he did not die a martyr’s death, he did live a martyr’s life. He was exiled to the Island of Patmos under the Emperor Domitian for his proclamation of the risen Christ. It was there that he wrote the last book in the Bible, Revelation. Some traditions tell us that he was thrown into boiling oil before the Latin Gate, where he was not killed but undoubtedly scarred for the rest of his life.

Date of Martyrdom: 95 A.D.

Paul

Paul, himself a persecutor of the Christian faith (Galatians 1:13), was brought to repentance on his way to Damascus by an appearance of the risen Christ. Ironically, Paul was heading for Damascus to arrest those who held to Christ’s resurrection. Paul was the greatest skeptic there was until he saw the truth of the resurrection. He then devoted his life to the proclamation of the living Christ. Writing to the Corinthians, defending his ministry, Paul tells of his sufferings for the name of Christ: “In labors more abundant, in beatings above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths often. Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once was I stoned, three times I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeys often, in storms on the water, in danger of robbers, in danger by mine own countrymen, in danger by the heathen, in danger in the city, in danger in the wilderness, in the sea, among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness “(2 Cor. 11:23-27). Finally, Paul met his death at the hands of the Roman Emperor Nero when he was beheaded in Rome.

Date of Martyrdom: ca. 67 A.D.

 

Information taken from article found at this address:http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2009/04/what-happened-to-the-twelve-apostles-how-their-deaths-evidence-easter/

 

 

 

 "On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers,who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”" Luke 17:11-19

  They stood at a distance!

 Leprosy required one to always stand at a distance from "normal" folks. As a leper, when you traveled you and came near people you were required to shout out 'UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!" so that people could avoid you. You were an outcast.  A victim of leprosy was even excluded from God, he or she could not enter the temple, could not offer a sacrifice....for they were UNCLEAN!

   If a normal person touched a leper they would also be UNCLEAN! Leprosy stole everything from a person, absolutely everything, it took their bodies and their flesh, leaving them looking like monsters, it stole their dignity, it stole their humanity. It took EVERYTHING and was the most feared disease of that time. Better to just lay down and die than to be a leper.

 "And a lepercame to him, imploring him, and kneeling said to him, “If you will, you can make me clean.” Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand and touched him and said to him, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him, and he was made clean." Mark 1: 40

 He stretched out His hand and TOUCHED him!
 
  Do you realize how profound that was! No one touched a leper! They were unclean! Their touch made you unclean! But our Lord, moved with compassion, not only healed this man, but He touched him.

 I see myself in all these lepers

 Sometimes I see myself in the one leper, who returned to give thanks, these are the best of days, when my eyes and heart are open to his gifts and filled with gratitude. On these days I revel in falling at His feet and praising Him for all that He is and all that He has done. Oh that I could live every day like this.
 
  Often I see myself in the nine who did not return. My Lord heaps blessings  upon me, and so many of them I do not even take notice of. I fail, time and again I fail, to return to His feet and give thanks for all that He has done, is doing and will do for me. These are the days I stumble about in the dark, eyes tightly shut, gaze on self instead of on Him. Oh that I would have no more days like this.

 I am always the leper he touched. I was unclean, I wallow in uncleanness, even as His child, touched by His grace, I return to the mud and dirt to wallow. I am not fit for His touch, not fit for His gaze, in all truth and honesty He should cast me aside and scream UNCLEAN! But He does not. Instead, each and every time I fall, He reaches down and touches me and says "I am willing...be clean".

 
 Because of Him, and His great mercy, because He, the glorius God-Man, chose willingly to be born of a woman, to walk about this filthy unclean world, to live a life of grace and perfection in the midst of all the sin and darkness, because He willingly gave himself up, and was delivered to the cross, where He hung in agony, because He willingly at the appointed time declared IT IS FINISHED and gave up the life in His body, because He conquered death and sin, because He stomped the head of the devil into the ground, because He by His power as Almighty God, rose from the dead, and ascended into heaven to take His place at the right hand of God the Father, because of all this, I am declared CLEAN. My sins, all of them are cast as far as the east is from the west, and though I remember them, He remembers them no more. I stand here dressed in filthy dirty leper rags, but when He gazes upon me he sees me clothed in the purest white.

 Every morning I arise from my bed and He gives me a new white robe to wear, and although I drag it through mud and filth, He renews it, it is ever white to Him. My friends that is profound, that is wondrous, that is marvelous, that is outrageous grace!

 I no longer have to stand at a distance, I no longer am barred from His presence, instead I am whole, I am clean, I am His child. He has granted me the right to come close, to sit with Him, to converse with Him, He has made me His........and I am grateful.

 Today I will live as the one who returned, to fall at His feet, to give Him all praise and worship. Lord I praise You for your outrageous grace!

Outrageous Grace, sung by Godfrey Birtill

There’s a lot of pain but a lot more healing
There’s a lot of trouble but a lot more peace
There’s a lot of hate but a lot more loving
There’s a lot of sin but a lot more grace


Oh outrageous grace oh outrageous grace
Love unfurled by heaven’s hand
Oh outrageous grace oh outrageous grace
Through my Jesus I can stand

There’s a lot of fear but a lot more freedom
There’s a lot of darkness but a lot more light
There’s a lot of cloud but a lot more vision
There’s a lot of perishing but a lot more life


There’s an enemy
That seeks to kill what it can’t control
It twists and turns
Making mountains out of molehills
But I will call on my Lord
Who is worthy of praise
I run to Him and I am saved

 

 

 " God, all the world is an opportunity to behold more of your transfiguring darkness into grace. I won't ever get over it. I'm beholden to it all my life, now and forever. I want to accept all You give and learn to see into the darkness as You do, as a place to fill with Your light. Help me Father. Help me to see in the dark." One Thousand Gifts Devotional.

And I will lead the blind
    in a way that they do not know,
in paths that they have not known
    I will guide them.
I will turn the darkness before them into light,
    the rough places into level ground.
These are the things I do,
    and I do not forsake them. (Isaiah 42:16

  If there is one thing I have learned over the course of the past few years, hard years, painful years, it is that God is faithful, even in the darkness.

  In all things and no matter the circumstances we must remember that nothing, not one thing that happens to us is a surprise to God. He knows these things, He has allowed these things, dark as they may seem to you, senseless to you, unfair to you, He has allowed them. This might seem like something a harsh and unloving God would do, but in those thoughts we must remember all that He has told us, about who He is, about what His purpose is.

He is:

All Powerful

He is everywhere present.

 He is all knowing.

He is sovereign.

He is holy.

He is absolute truth.

He is righteous.

He is just.

He is love.

He is merciful.

He is faithful.

He never changes.

  All that He does, all that He allows, all that He brings about in our lives will and does serve His purposes, and His purposes are always for our benefit. Always.

  His grace is always available, a full measure, all that you need, for each day. Open your eyes. Ask Him to show you all the ways he blesses You, ask Him to show you how to see Him at work in what you perceive to be total darkness. From every single thing comes grace and blessing.

  I learned long ago that sometimes word pictures assist us in understanding something. I have always thought of my children and my great love for them in defining how God allows bad things, hurtful things, to occur in our lives. I look back to when one of my boys was very sick. I took him to the doctor, and they informed me that he would have to receive two shots, they would inject them into his legs, and that the shots were extremely painful. They informed me that they would burn like fire. I helped to hold him down while they injected him. I will never forget his eyes, they burned into me, eyes that screamed betrayal, how could I, his mother, the one who always defended, always comforted, always gave anything and everything on his behalf, allow this to be done? He was too young to understand why, too young to know that the reason I held him down, the reason I allowed them to hurt him, was because of my love for him, my desire to save him, to preserve his life. It was not for harm, although in his eyes great harm was done.

 Now I am an imperfect created being, and I have made, do make and will continue to make mistakes. My word picture therefore is inadequate in it's representation of God, but it at least helps to form a picture that might aid somewhat in our understanding of why bad things happen. Just like my son, laying on that table, screaming his outrage and his pain at the top of his lungs, did not understand, did not have all the pieces to the puzzle, could not comprehend at that time that what was taking place was for good in the end, sometimes we also cannot see. There will be times of great sorrow where we will live to actually see with our own eyes the reasons, and the good that came from them, there will be other times where we may not see it, we may have to wait until we stand before Him, and He shows us all that He did, all that He brought about, all that He prevented, by allowing the pain in our lives. What He asks us to do right now is to trust Him. His love for His children makes my love for my own children pale in comparison, for He is God, perfect in His love, while I am human and created and always imperfect in mine.

  May God, today and in days to come, help us to see in the darkness, to open our eyes fully, to open our clenched fists completely and receive the abundant grace that He freely gives.

GRACE: unmerited, undeserved favor.

 

More information on the attributes of God:

http://www.josh.org/video-2/attributes-of-god/