I have missed church for the past three weeks, due to various circumstances. It was good to be back today. I find that I need the grace given by attending service. It is both an ending and a beginning. There I find assurance of forgiveness, for my sins of commission and my sins of omission. The things I did or said that I ought not have done or said, and the things that I ought to have done and said but did not. I also find there grace and strength for the coming week, that I might live it as He would have me live it, that I might have less sins when I stand at the altar next week.

 For us, church involves a drive to the other side of town, we live on the far northwest end of the city of Albuquerque, and our church is on the far southeast end. The drive this morning was beautiful with all the golden leaves. The city was surrounded by gold this morning and the bosque was breathtaking.

(Bosque is the name for areas of gallery forest found along the riparian flood plains of stream and river banks in the southwestern United States. It derives its name from the Spanish word for woodlands.)

I did not take this photo, but it displays what I saw today as we drove to church.

and the heavens are the work of your hands.

They will perish, but you will remain;

they will all wear out like a garment.

You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,

but you are the same, and your years have no end.

  The message was on the attributes of God, an important topic, in order to trust God one must know who He is. Today's topic was His immutability, that He is the same today as He was yesterday and He will be the same tomorrow. God does not change, He is consistent in all that He is. In a world where things are ever-changing, this is comforting to know.

 I was also struck with the understanding that the God that I worship is the same God who was in the lion's den with Daniel, the same God who parted the red sea, the same God who walked with David, He is the same, what is there for me to fear? I belong to Him, and no matter what tomorrow holds, He is with me.

 We spent the rest of the day at home, relaxing. As we were driving home something came up in conversation that reminding me of my daughter in law. My husband was speaking a line from the movie "Kingdom of Heaven", and I recalled a day when Mel and I were in the car, I was driving, we had just watched this movie the night before, and she asked me a question, I cannot recall what it was, only that it was a "why" question, and I shouted out the line from the movie "God wills it!" and we laughed and laughed.

 Later on today I was struck by a feeling of regret that hit me out of nowhere. I was not expecting it. I have wrestled with it for most of the day. I am left without an answer, but with the knowledge and assurance that she is okay and all is well with her and I will see her again one day. When next we meet it will be without any burden of sin, we will both be as He meant us to be, and I am looking forward to that. Until then, dance for Him Mel Bell. If I failed you at all Mel I am truly sorry.

 Other things have weighed heavily today, the sound of silence is loud, it screams in my ears and I can hear nothing else. I attempt to distract myself with noise, trying music, television, but the silence screams and drowns out all else. I understand it, I accept it, but I long for the silence to break, even if only for a little while. There are various types of silence, some I treasure, this one I hate. I will say no more on this subject other than I believe God is greater than whatever darkness we fight against. I know this to be true. So I wait and I endure the silence.

 A truly beautiful song.....one to really listen to, over and over again, hear the words, take in the words.....

 His great grace!

It’s there in the newborn cry
There in the light of every sunrise
There in the shadows of this life
Your great grace

It’s there on the mountain top
There in the everyday and the mundane
There in the sorrow and the dancing
Your great grace
Oh such grace

From the creation to the cross
There from the cross into eternity
Your grace finds me, yes your grace finds me


It’s there on a wedding day
There in the weeping by the graveside
There in the very breath we breathe
Your great grace

The same for the rich and poor
The same for the saint and for the sinner
Enough for this whole wide world
Your great grace
Oh such grace


There in the darkest night of the soul
There in the sweetest songs of victory
Your grace finds me
Yes your grace finds me

Your great grace
Oh such grace
Your great grace
Oh such grace

So I’m breathing in Your grace
And breathing out Your praise
I’m breathing in Your grace
Forever I’ll be


Your grace finds me
Yes Your grace finds me

  Today's devotional reading left me with two quotes which touched my heart...quotes to ponder throughout the day.

 "Counting one thousand gifts means counting the hard things.........otherwise I have miscounted."

 "When God moves us out of our comfort zone......into the hard places that are way bigger than us, places that are difficult, hard, painful, places that even hurt....this is a gift.

You are being given a gift."

 These are hard words.....hard truths to swallow.

 I have miscounted. I have not given thanks for the hard things, for the hurtful things. I am still struggling with how to do that. What part of the pain of this year and last is a gift? I cannot say, I do not know, so I must look back on my life in order to find any type of answer to my question. Does good come from the hard things?

I remember a day, many years ago, when I sat in an empty house, with my brother and wept. I was very young, he was only a few years older. It was a dark day for us, and the beginning of a hard road. Nothing was right about it, nothing was good about it, and yet looking back on it I give thanks for that day. So many things came about because of it. So when looking back I can see good coming from hard times.......but it seems to require a lot of time to pass before I can see it.

 I had to walk through the valley of anger, of feeling betrayed, of lashing out at others before they could lash out at me. I had to walk and wallow in darkness for a long time.It was a long walk of many years until that one day, over 24 years ago, when God called my name and said it is time to come out of the valley. But I can now see the good He intended. He used even this terrible dark time in my life for good.

 I can also see that the hard times of my life have made me more compassionate, they have given me an ability to love others, they have pushed me towards God, pushed me to work towards knowing Him better, and the more I know of God the more I understand how very much I need Him, how I am not much of anything without Him. The hard times have strengthened me, strengthened my faith, strengthened my love, helped me to see that for the most part, we tend to focus much of our lives on things that do not really matter, and not enough on what matters most.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
His love endures forever.
Psalm 136:1-3

So today I move towards this truth I have been given today, and I with weak and shaking hands lift my arms to the heavens and say "thank You Lord" for the hard times. Help me to see You in them, help me to learn from them, help me to be a better person because of them, strengthen my faith through them, use them to help me to help others as they walk through their hard times. I give thanks because You are good and because Your love endures forever!

Lord I do believe, help Thou my unbelief!

I leave you with some quotes to ponder;

God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perseverance of our will to overcome them. ~ C.S. Lewis

I would go to the deeps a hundred times to cheer a downcast spirit. It is good for me to have been afflicted, that I might know how to speak a word in season to one that is weary. ~ Charles Spurgeon

Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering…. The love of God did not protect His own Son…. He will not necessarily protect us – not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process.” ~ Elisabeth Elliot

Nothing but encouragement can come to us as we dwell upon the faithful dealing of our Heavenly Father in centuries gone by. Faith in God has not saved people from hardships and trials, but it has enabled them to bear tribulations courageously and to emerge victoriously. ~ Lee Robertson

Christians are like the several flowers in a garden that have each of them the dew of heaven, which, being shaken with the wind, they let fall at each other’s roots, whereby they are jointly nourished, and become nourishers of each other. ~ John Bunyon

“Are you aware of who you really are in relationship to the very God who created the Universe, who scattered the stars and aligned the planets? Only to those who remember and realize that they are literally spirit children of a God who knows and loves them, can the fire of refinement be welcome. Otherwise, pain and adversity are just that, pain and adversity. Fire doesn’t purify; it only burns.”  ~ Toni Sorenson

Hawks are sort of special to my North Carolina family, and therefore they have become rather special to me now also. I have always admired them, but since returning from my last trip to North Carolina, I seem to see them everywhere.

Today as I left for work, I noticed a prairie falcon sitting upon one of the power lines. I was pleased and felt blessed to have noticed him.

 Later on I went to lunch and I was driving back to work from my house, on the dirt road where we live, I saw a red tailed hawk, and he was playing in the wind. He swooped down low over the road, he did several tight turns low to the ground, then he swooped back over the road, all in front of me as I am driving, he did some graceful dives, and swooped once more across the road in front of me and off he flew. I felt very blessed to have witnessed his display.

  This evening I received a text from my son saying that a mourning dove had flown into our house, and he sent me the below photo of it. He and my husband captured the bird. My husband took the bird outside and opened his hands for it to fly and it just sat there in his hands. He had to throw it up into the air to get it to go.

So it has been a day of the birds today. I am not really superstitious about such things, but with the swooping red tailed hawk, and then the mourning dove flying into the house, I cannot help but wonder if there is a message to these visits.

So out of curiosity I looked it up and found this "A hawk is referred to as the messenger. The hawk is also about visionary power and guardianship, as the hawk is very protective of the young in its nest. It teaches us about providing for family and self. The hawk teaches us to be observant and to pay attention to what we may overlook. This could mean a talent we don't use, a blessing for which we haven't expressed gratitude, or a message." and this "Ancient legends say that mourning doves are prophets bringing messages of wisdom to humankind: Mourn what has passed but awaken to the promise of the future." they are also called "angel doves".

http://www.greatsite.com/timeline-english-bible-history/martin-luther.html

   One cannot help but admire this man, his act that day took great courage, for during that time it was fairly common for the church to execute heretics and he was labeled a heritic by the Catholic church for the writings that he nailed to the church door on that Halloween day in 1517.

  One of my favorite books on prayer was written by Martin Luther, it is called " A Simple Way to Pray", you can get it here in PDF format.

http://www.greatsite.com/timeline-english-bible-history/martin-luther.html

  He also left behind some great quotes, and he loved books and spoke well of dogs, so that makes him a pretty decent fellow in my eyes.

Some of his quotes include:

“This life therefore is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health, but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it, the process is not yet finished, but it is going on, this is not the end, but it is the road. All does not yet gleam in glory, but all is being purified.” 

“I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.” 

“True humility does not know that it is humble. If it did, it would be proud from the contemplation of so fine a virtue.” 

“There never yet have been, nor are there now, too many good books.” 

“The dog is the most faithful of animals and would be much esteemed were it not so common. Our Lord God has made His greatest gifts the commonest.” 

“I am afraid that the schools will prove the very gates of hell, unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures and engraving them in the heart of the youth.”  

“Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.”