I have missed church for the past three weeks, due to various circumstances. It was good to be back today. I find that I need the grace given by attending service. It is both an ending and a beginning. There I find assurance of forgiveness, for my sins of commission and my sins of omission. The things I did or said that I ought not have done or said, and the things that I ought to have done and said but did not. I also find there grace and strength for the coming week, that I might live it as He would have me live it, that I might have less sins when I stand at the altar next week.
For us, church involves a drive to the other side of town, we live on the far northwest end of the city of Albuquerque, and our church is on the far southeast end. The drive this morning was beautiful with all the golden leaves. The city was surrounded by gold this morning and the bosque was breathtaking.
(Bosque is the name for areas of gallery forest found along the riparian flood plains of stream and river banks in the southwestern United States. It derives its name from the Spanish word for woodlands.)
I did not take this photo, but it displays what I saw today as we drove to church.
Psalm 102: 25-27
Of old you laid the foundation of the earth,
and the heavens are the work of your hands.
They will perish, but you will remain;
they will all wear out like a garment.
You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,
but you are the same, and your years have no end.
The message was on the attributes of God, an important topic, in order to trust God one must know who He is. Today's topic was His immutability, that He is the same today as He was yesterday and He will be the same tomorrow. God does not change, He is consistent in all that He is. In a world where things are ever-changing, this is comforting to know.
I was also struck with the understanding that the God that I worship is the same God who was in the lion's den with Daniel, the same God who parted the red sea, the same God who walked with David, He is the same, what is there for me to fear? I belong to Him, and no matter what tomorrow holds, He is with me.
We spent the rest of the day at home, relaxing. As we were driving home something came up in conversation that reminding me of my daughter in law. My husband was speaking a line from the movie "Kingdom of Heaven", and I recalled a day when Mel and I were in the car, I was driving, we had just watched this movie the night before, and she asked me a question, I cannot recall what it was, only that it was a "why" question, and I shouted out the line from the movie "God wills it!" and we laughed and laughed.
Later on today I was struck by a feeling of regret that hit me out of nowhere. I was not expecting it. I have wrestled with it for most of the day. I am left without an answer, but with the knowledge and assurance that she is okay and all is well with her and I will see her again one day. When next we meet it will be without any burden of sin, we will both be as He meant us to be, and I am looking forward to that. Until then, dance for Him Mel Bell. If I failed you at all Mel I am truly sorry.
Other things have weighed heavily today, the sound of silence is loud, it screams in my ears and I can hear nothing else. I attempt to distract myself with noise, trying music, television, but the silence screams and drowns out all else. I understand it, I accept it, but I long for the silence to break, even if only for a little while. There are various types of silence, some I treasure, this one I hate. I will say no more on this subject other than I believe God is greater than whatever darkness we fight against. I know this to be true. So I wait and I endure the silence.
I leave you with the words from one of the hymns we sang today. May your coming week be blessed.
Immortal, invisible, God only wise,
In light inaccessible hid from our eyes,
Most blessèd, most glorious, the Ancient of Days,
Almighty, victorious, Thy great Name we praise.
Unresting, unhasting, and silent as light,
Nor wanting, nor wasting, Thou rulest in might;
Thy justice, like mountains, high soaring above
Thy clouds, which are fountains of goodness and love.
To all, life Thou givest, to both great and small;
In all life Thou livest, the true life of all;
We blossom and flourish as leaves on the tree,
And wither and perish—but naught changeth Thee.
Great Father of glory, pure Father of light,
Thine angels adore Thee, all veiling their sight;
But of all Thy rich graces this grace, Lord, impart
Take the veil from our faces, the vile from our heart.
All laud we would render; O help us to see
’Tis only the splendor of light hideth Thee,
And so let Thy glory, Almighty, impart,
Through Christ in His story, Thy Christ to the heart.