More Musings from the Demented Mind of an Infantry Mother
Definition of Demented: Driven to behave irrationally due to anger, distress, or excitement.
Our roller coaster ride leaves the platform this week. For months we have had this in the back of our minds, and for weeks now the fear has built up, the roller coaster we will be riding is enormous, with many loops, hair pin turns and it seems in our eyes to be higher than any roller coaster ever built. The workman building this enormous ride of fear seem hell-bent to make it bigger, and faster, as each passing week when we gaze upon it, it reaches a little higher into the sky, and the drops are more severe than they appeared last week. It is certainly higher, faster and more frightening than the last one we experienced. Will our family survive this beast intact? Do they really expect us to ride this thing for nine months!
I would like to refuse to get on it, to run away from it, please surely there is a smaller one we can take? Perhaps one with only one loop, perhaps one that does not jerk you around so much? But no, this one is ours, we are committed, and we simply have to get on board and strap in.
The roller coaster I refer to is deployment. The time has come; our first-born son is leaving for combat operations in the country of Afghanistan. We know a little bit about what to expect. We anticipate the sleepless nights, the ball of fear that always rests in the pits of our stomach. The fear of strange cars parked on our street. The crazy obsession with keeping everything up on our phones at all times, Facebook, Skype, Messenger, Email and of course the phone itself. The sheer panic when you look down and realize your battery is almost dead and you left your charger at home! The crazy shopping trips where our cart is filled with baby wipes, deodorant, beef jerky, cans of chewing tobacco and a multitude of snacks.
And of course those truly horrible feelings, when you hear news that someone was injured, someone has fallen. Is it he? Oh Dear God may it not be him? And then the names are released, or you hear from your soldier, and you rejoice, praise be to God he is okay…and then you think of the family of the one who did fall, the one who was injured…and your heart breaks into pieces…how can I rejoice…how could I have felt such joy knowing that someone like me, a family much like us, now has to endure the thing we all fear most, the death or injury of our soldier.
What we do not know is how recent events that have unfolded in Afghanistan will affect our son and the men standing with him. It seems certain that these events will not make their job easier, and that it will place them in greater danger. And it is for sure certain that recent events have caused our fears to rise to an almost unmanageable level. We do not know how to deal with news that our soldier has been injured, and we do not know how to endure hearing the news that our soldier has fallen. We pray like all families of the deployed, that we will never have to learn what this is like.
We are very afraid, our younger son is very afraid, we wish with all our hearts that this cup would pass from us, but even amidst the fear ,we embrace this deployment. This is what our first-born son does, he is a good soldier, and he loves his work, as he loves the men who serve with him. He extended his contract to accept this deployment, and we his family are very proud of the man that he has become. So we will stand with him these next nine months. We will help carry his burdens and the burdens of his brothers. We will lift them up in prayer throughout each day. We will arise when we are awakened in the middle of the night, and we will pray. We will remind our coworkers, our fellow church members, our neighbors and our friends of the reality of the war, and encourage them to support those serving in it. We like our son will hold the motto “Follow Me” close to our hearts and encourage everyone to follow us, follow us and know these brave men and woman who serve in our nations armed forces, know these brave men who serve as our combat troops, send them packages, pray for them always, and we will never allow the people around us to forget for we are Infantry family and we are strong and faithful.
I am the Infantry family
I am my soldier’s strength in war,
His home in peace.
I am the heart of my soldier
wherever, whenever.
I carry his burdens in faith and honor
And hold him up to God.
I am a Prayer Warrior.
I am what my soldier expects me to be,
A source of strength for him
in his race for victory.
I have strong faith in my soldier
I am determined to always be his rock.
I am courageous; never will he see my fear
Never will I fail my soldier’s trust.
Always will I labor on
Through the fear, to the objective, to bring him safely home.
I yield not to weakness, to fear, to anxiety, to fatigue,
For I am mentally tough, spiritually strong, and morally straight.
I forsake not my soldier, his mission, his comrades, his sacred duty.
I am relentless
I am always there for him and his brothers
now and forever
I am the Infantry family
Follow me!
Let the ride commence! We are ready! We will endure!
God bless our troops, God bless our Infantry, God bless our military families. God bless and keep all those who are currently on the ride, praise God for all those who have returned from the ride, and strength and courage to all those preparing to strap in.
The Lord be with you my son, go forth, knowing that there will not be one day, not one waking moment, that you are not being brought before the throne of God. We love you son....Godspeed!
Our beloved son came home. He was wounded in an IED blast while serving this tour, he received a concussion, was in the hospital only a matter of days and was back out on patrol.
He lost friends, and friends lost limbs. It was a hard deployment. He came home and we are so very grateful for that. He was diagnosed with severe PTSD and mild TBI just shortly after his return. He is now out of the Army and trying to put his life back together. We are proud of him, more than he will ever know.