Anyway for the most part, I am able to give my worries, my fears, my yearnings to God, and to pray in faith knowing He will accomplish this thing that I so yearn for, but on occasion, today being one of them, I for whatever reason took all that I had placed into His hands back into my own. I took all the fears, all the worries, and wrestled with the minor setbacks and I just felt miserable. My soul could do no more than cry out, "how long Oh Lord, how long?"
I awoke this morning at 5:30, the sunrise was beautiful but I was unable to rejoice in it. I simply let the dogs out and went back to bed. I arose again around 6:30, made some breakfast and sat around mulling over whether I even had the energy or desire to go to church today. Fortunately I decided to go and visit a little local church down the hill from us. I was having difficulty praying and all I could manage was a repetition of "I need to hear from You today Lord".
The call to worship was 2 Samuel 22;4, " I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies."
I cannot describe the range of thought and emotion that went through my mind in that short brief time that the pastor read those words, but for me they spoke directly to my heart. It was if the Lord was saying, I heard your cry, I heard you child, and I will save you from the enemy of doubt, fear, worry and disappointment.
Now all this past week my husband, God bless him, has been teasing me for singing the same song. It's just been stuck in my head and as I go about my work in the house I have been singing "How Great Thou Art", well low and behold, the very first song we sang today was just that.
O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the *worlds thy hands have made,
I see the stars, I hear the *rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed
Oh Lord, was it not just yesterday afternoon that I stood on my front porch, with the thunder rolling, and the skies opening up with rain and hail, and the wind whipping the trees and declared to the heavens "How great Thou Art!"
When through the woods and forest glades I wander
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze
Oh Lord, was it not just yesterday morning that I stood in my yard, watching a dove splash in the bird bath, marveling at a roadrunner hunting lizards under the bushes, feeling the sun on my face and the gently breeze on my skin, beholding those majestic mountains and marveling at how wondrous Your creation is?
And when I think that God, his Son not sparing,
Sent him to die, I scarce can take it in,
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.
Oh Lord, at this point I can barely sing, nor see the words through my tears, how can it be, that I could stand here in this church, raising my voice in song to You, I who stood against You in my youth,I who did so much wrong, I a sinner saved by Your grace, and how can it be that for a moment this morning I forgot it all!
When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!
Then *I shall bow in humble adoration,
And there proclaim, My God, how great thou art!
Oh Lord, You are faithful, Your promises are truth and life, and I proclaim them to the heavens! I will yet see the desires of my heart come to pass! It truly is all going to be alright one day therefore I repent of my downcast heart and I eagerly await Your message.
And the pastor spoke from the book of John, the 17th Chapter, verses 11-19, and the message was my Lord's prayer, as He faced the cross, as He looked to the brutal torture and treatment that He would soon receive.........He prayed for me. If your are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ then He prayed for you also. What an awesome thing! Our Lord, on His knees before the Father praying for us! He knew that He was leaving His earthly walk with us, He knew that the world hated Him, and would soon turn that hatred to us, He knew that the enemy who sought at every step to destroy Him, would soon seek our destruction. He prayed that the Father would keep us, and help us. He called us the gift that the Father had given Him. He prayed that I, that we, would have the joy that He had, despite our circumstances, despite our worries or troubles. He prayed for our sanctification, that we would be strong in the purpose for which He has called us. We are a source of light to a broken and troubled world. We are His. How glorious is that, how amazing!
The gospel message that He has given each of us who call Him Lord, is verified by our lives, how we live is important, so very important. Unbelievers need the truth, but they need to see that truth in the testimony of our lives. How we live paints a painting, writes a book, sings a song, and it is so important that it be painting and writing and singing gospel truth, not despair, not discouragement, not downcast hearts, not fearful worries.
And one of the last points the pastor made, was regarding verse 19, where Jesus prayed " And for their (mine and yours) sake I consecrate (set Himself a sacrifice) myself, that they (you and me) also may be sanctified in truth".
We concluded the service with communion, and I felt and received the grace.
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me
Underneath me, all around me
Is the current of Your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Your glorious rest above
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Spread His praise from shore to shore
How He came to pay our ransom
Through the saving cross He bore
How He watches o’er His loved ones
Those He died to make His own
How for them He’s interceding
Pleading now before the throne
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Far surpassing all the rest
It’s an ocean full of blessing
In the midst of every test
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Mighty Savior, precious Friend
You will bring us home to glory
Where Your love will never end
How can I possible be discouraged or disappointed or worried or fearful? My Lord Jesus Christ prayed for me (and for you if you too are a believer) and my Father in heaven has heard His prayer, and He has answered it, He will continue to answer it and my call, my purpose, my all is to live gospel truth. To keep loving even if it is not returned in kind, to keep reaching out, to keep praying, to keep believing, no matter what my circumstances may be and regardless of any visual setbacks or concerns.
Our call is to paint with our very lives a picture of the grace and mercy of God, to write a book upon our souls of the power of God to change people forever and ever, to sing a song of constant praise with our hearts to the One who has redeemed us and called us!
He is faithful. Give the worries to Him, let Him deal with what we perceive as setbacks, hand Him our disappointments and hold onto the joy that is set before us.....He is faithful.
And as for that thing for which I yearn, for which so many tears and prayers have been offered, will be offered until my dying breath, well He's got that too. He is able to save to the uttermost. He saved me, and that in itself is a major miracle.
We His children are not of this world, we are just passing through, as lights in the darkness, called to be His voice, His hands, His feet.
May your day and your life be ever blessed with the true presence of the Lord Jesus Christ, and to Him be all glory and praise and honor forever and ever. Amen
Then sings my soul! My Savior God to Thee! How great Thou Art! How great Thou Art!