Preaching gospel to myself, as I do my best to walk by faith and not by sight. Trying with all my might to see the beauty and to hold on to hope. In doing so, I am so very grateful for music, which touches the soul, like a fresh rain on a hot day.

  And as I drove home today,....with the icy hand of anxiety slowly squeezing my heart, a song began to play on the radio and the words cut through the ice and the tears fall like rain..... And I lifted up my voice up and sang with everything in me. 

 You are my joy, You are my song

You are the well, the One I'm drawing from
You are my refuge, my whole life long
Where else would I go?

We recently took our big white dog Hektor camping. He is getting on up there in years and it had been some time since he traveled anywhere farther than a local walk across the mesa or a stroll along the Rio Grande.

  Hektor was purchased as a pup, but in many ways I view him as a rescue dog. He was 16 weeks old when we delivered him from bondage. He was the sole remaining pup from a large litter. Bred by a hunter with no breeding experience, Hektor was the runt of his litter and most likely had to hustle for food. He had developed a small bald spot on his body and his breeder decided that dipping him in gasoline would alleviate the problem. When my son and I arrived to pick him up he had been washed spotless clean of the mud that had covered him, the kennel where he had been living was basically a massive mud puddle where he had been standing in water a few inches deep. As we talked to the breeders and paid the necessary monies I observed the children “disciplining” the little pup with a slap across the face. So needless to say I think if Hektor could speak he would consider himself to have been rescued.

  From the time we got him, despite a lot of hard work trying to socialize him he has always been my nervous pup. He worries about breakfast, he worries about dinner, he worries about new places and new people and he just doesn’t care much for strangers or strange places.

  Observing him over the course of the three day camping trip I pondered the similarities between myself and Hektor as compared to myself and God.

  Hektor worships me, he believes that I am, he wants desperately to have total faith and trust in me. For the most part he does. With coaching I can get him to do new things, go new places and even allow strangers to examine him and care for him……but he does not rest in that trust. There is always a little piece of him that doubts. Will it really be okay? Will I really get my breakfast this morning? Is it really true that I do not need to fear this new thing? Is it really true that I do not need to attack this scary thing myself? Can I really rely on her to take care of me? Can I really rest in her presence assured that no harm will come?

  As I pondered these things, I heard the still small voice in my soul say “yes child, you do have a lot in common with the big white dog.”

  You see, I worship Jesus Christ, I love Him. Sometimes just thinking about what He has done for me brings tears to my eyes. I desire to follow Him ANYWHERE, to do ANYTHING that He asks me to do. I believe that HE IS! He is EVERYTHING! There is nothing above Him, nothing that comes close to Him. I believe all these things and yet sometimes I still fret.

 It is my desire to walk with Him, wherever He might take me, be it the normal everyday places that I am comfortable with, or some new and frightening place to which I have never been. Yet I expect should that be the call that I will be like my big white dog, happy to be with Him, excited that He is taking me somewhere, but a little anxious about where we are going…….do they serve breakfast there?

 In all seriousness, Christ calls us to follow Him, to do so willingly and in full trust of His ability to provide. Sometimes the places He calls us and the tasks He calls us to are scary, in some cases even life threatening. But we know, we can have full assurance that whatever comes, He is right there with us, and He will provide all that we need.

   Hektor had his anxious moments, those moments when he was not real sure if I had all this, not real sure that he was safe and could relax, but when he finally decided to trust me in these things he had peace and was content to just be with us and relax in our care.

  Hektor was blessed in his journey with me. He got extra breakfast, extra dinner, he hiked at a leisurely pace in cool mountain air, he slept beside swift flowing mountain creeks, he got to sleep by my side in the tent and all in all he enjoyed his trip. Hopefully he learned to trust me just a little more.  Hopefully I can learn from him to trust my Master fully. To have no anxiety about tomorrow, to not worry about what we will eat, or what we will wear, or what choices others we love might be making or not making.

 Lord, help me trust You in all things, still my anxious heart, calm my restless worried spirit. Help me to rest in the knowledge that wherever I might be led You are right there beside me, and You are my Rock of refuge, there is nothing that I need fear.

 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, "I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life."

“The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.”

“Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.”

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.