The Silence From Heaven

These dark nights,

These dismal days,

When I cannot sense Your presence

I know You are with me,

But I cannot feel it

I seek You but You do not respond

I cry out but You do not speak

And then it becomes so difficult

To even cry out

Difficult to seek

Prayer is a labor

And apathy seeps in

Lord you know how I hate apathy

And yet here it is

Right there in my soul

Help me to remember

All the times past

When I felt so alone

Yet You were there

I just could not see

Nor feel

But I believed

Faith is the substance

Of things hoped for

The evidence of

Things not seen

I know this truth

Yet to feel You

Makes me so alive

And to not feel You

So dead

Lord reach down

And touch my soul

That I might feel

Your presence.

Break my heart

With the things that break Yours

Crush the apathy

For it is better to be pushed down

By the sorrows of others

Than to feel nothing

Such a divided soul I am

Crying out that the burden is too great

The suffering too much

Oh to not feel for the sufferings of others!

And yet when it leaves me

I am lost without it.

Oh Lord return to me

Rip out this human heart

And restore to me Yours.

And then come along side

And bear the yoke with me

One more hill

As my son would say.

       I have found the Christian life to be one of valleys  and hills and high mountain tops. On the hills He is a constant presence, as if He were walking right there with you as a friend, on the mountain tops His presence so strong and holy that you cannot even stand before it but must fall on your face and tremble at His power and majesty, but then there are the valleys where you find yourself walking, seemingly alone, crying out to Him, Lord where are You? I have walked many hills, stood upon many mountain tops and trudged through many valleys. He never leaves you. Even in the valley, even in the silence He is there. Trust Him.

 Many wrongly assume that His absence is because something has gone wrong, this is not the case. In truth He is not absent at all, He is merely silent. Think of Joseph, sold into slavery, wrongly accused, imprisoned......I imagine he walked through some very deep valleys. Yet all the while God was working, moving, building and bringing about a great work.

   I feel the valley today, it's not a deep one, but it is there. Prayer comes hard right now, everything is a struggle, for some time now I have felt His presence so strong, so sure, so certain, and today scares me a bit. How long Lord? How deep this valley? I pray it is but a short one, perhaps a day or two. None the less, enough has passed that I know my Redeemer. He has not left, He has not stepped out, He is but silent for a time.