Have you ever wept uncertain if your tears are tears of sorrow or tears of joy?

  I awoke this morning, this Christmas Eve, and listened to a song.  

I know You came to rescue me
This baby boy would grow to be
A man and one day die for me and you
My sins would drive the nails in You?
That rugged cross was my cross, too?
Still every breath You drew was Hallelujah

The tears were rolling down my cheeks.  As I listened, I prayed, I prayed for just one day lived for His glory, just one day where there was no hint of me in anything that I do, in anything that I say. Just one day Lord.

For I have walked with Him for 25 years, since that day when He called me out of darkness and into His light, and yet when I sit and reflect upon it, in all my efforts across the years,  I do not recall a time when I ever had one full day, lived only unto Him.

There have been good days, and there have been days which I thought were good days, only to find I was living them unto self, or unto some religious motive.  There have been the awful days, when not a single thought of my Lord crossed my mind and there have been the joyful days, lived in His presence for the most part……..but in honesty, not one full day only for Him, not one full day lived for Him, where every moment was spent in gratitude, where every choice was placed before Him first, where every hurt was forgiven as He would forgive, where every opportunity to extend His grace was acted on to His glory…..NOT ONE DAY!

What a sobering thought. Praise God for His grace,  which rains down on us, without which we are unable no matter how much we wish it, no matter how much we want it, we are unable to give Him anything, we are unable to live for Him as He demands,  unable to be the saints we so desperately wish to be.

And that’s okay, that’s how it is supposed to be. Only one man ever walked out a perfect life lived in perfect union with God, only one man ever did 100 percent of what was required, only one man ever put every single choice he made before God first and always chose the path that pleased Him. Only one man, the God man, Jesus Christ, Yeshua, Messiah,  Prince of Peace, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, that little babe born long ago, who grew to manhood, who preached  good news, who took my place, died in my stead, satisfied God’s wrath and rose from the dead. He did it, so that I could be clothed in His righteousness.

So we keep striving, keep walking, tears of joy and tears of sorrow, broken, but rejoicing, broken but singing…..Hallelujah!

Just before work this morning, I stopped by to visit my daughter in law. The song I had heard earlier was in my heart but I did not have it to listen to, so I listened to the original. As I sat and brushed dirt from her headstone, listening to the words to the original Hallelujah, once again the tears began to fall. Sorrow mingled with joy.

It’s the eve of His birth, the One who is Hope, who is Peace, who is Joy, who is Love…….even so come Lord Jesus, come.

And even though, It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of song
With nothing on my tongue but hallelujah”

“It’s gonna be okay, more than okay”………..I believe it, I believe it with all my heart, so today, this Christmas Eve, I will sing Hallelujah, there will be the moments when it is as good as it can get, when my heart is one with His, when the hallelujah coming from my soul is like the worship of the angels……..and there will be those moments when it is broken, cold, when the sound is only faintly heard and the soul weeps.

It’s not about religion. Religion gives you a set of rules, so you can compare. You compare yourself to the rules and you think you are doing pretty well. You compare yourself to others who are so obviously breaking all the rules….and you think you are doing real good. You lift your voice to the heavens shouting “Lord I am so glad I am not like _____”.  And in your quest to meet the obligations of your religion you miss all the grace moments, you miss all the opportunities He gives to you, to allow you to love as He loved, to allow you to preach as He preached, to allow you to be His hands, His feet, His voice. Lord Jesus stamp out religion in my heart and replace it with You.

May our prayer ever be the prayer of the tax collector.

No, it’s not about religion.  It’s about relationship. Relationship with Him.  

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get. ‘But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner! ‘I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

May He find room in your heart this Christmas.


A Hallelujah Christmas

 “I've heard about this baby boy
Who's come to earth to bring us joy
And I just want to sing this song to you
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
With every breath I'm singing Hallelujah

A couple came to Bethlehem
Expecting child, they searched the inn
To find a place for You were coming soon
There was no room for them to stay
So in a manger filled with hay
God's only Son was born, oh Hallelujah

The shepherds left their flocks by night
To see this baby wrapped in light
A host of angels led them all to You
It was just as the angels said
You'll find Him in a manger bed
Immanuel and Savior, Hallelujah

A star shown bright up in the east
To Bethlehem, the wisemen three
Came many miles and journeyed long for You
And to the place at which You were
Their frankincense and gold and myrrh
They gave to You and cried out Hallelujah

I know You came to rescue me
This baby boy would grow to be
A man and one day die for me and you
My sins would drive the nails in You
That rugged cross was my cross, too
Still every breath You drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah originally by Leonard Cohen

"Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah


Merry Christmas in heaven Mel Bell Griego

Merry Christmas in heaven Allen Young

Merry Christmas in heaven Myrtle Hall

Merry Christmas in heaven papa.