Crucify Him! Oil Painting by Ivan Ilyich (1969)
O Jesus, as You stood before Pilate and gazed out at the crowd, into the hundred hearts amassed before you, all thick with fear and fury.
Was mine among them?...
Yes. Mine was among them.
I have desired your death in order to preserve my life, my way of life, my fulfillments, and my own control.
But You, like me, desired Your death too!
By a mercy I cannot comprehend, you accepted my evil intent even to save my life!
I am therefore no more my own, but yours---no more an enemy, but a friend to you forever. Amen.
(Prayer adapted from the devotional book "Reliving The Passion" by Walter Wangerin Jr, a book I highly recommend. )